


The Phantom Drabbles

by Madras_Eclipse



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Multi, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27018490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madras_Eclipse/pseuds/Madras_Eclipse
Summary: Short, sweet time-wasting drabbles which are sure to Take your Heart.Updates basically whenever I have time to kill and don't feel like working on Cognitive Psience in Eastern Utopia or anything Alola!-related.
Kudos: 13





	1. New Game+ In A Nutshell

"You goddamn no-good shitty brats! Haven't you been taught not to point at people, huh?!"

To which Joker responded by quietly throwing off his mask, summoning Satan, and pointing at Kamoshida in unison.

"DAAAAAMN YOOOOOOUUUU!" Kamoshida cried out as his body was engulfed in explosions and shadowy mist.

The other thieves were dumbstruck.

"Dude, where did you get that Persona?" Ryuji asked. "It's completely overpowered."

"We haven't done _anything_ in the palace since we each awakened our Personas," Ann pouted.

"Is all we're good for standing around and looking cute for you?!" Morgana chided.

"Yes," Joker smirked, adjusting his gloves.


	2. Charm Points

As Ren and Morgana returned to the subway from the arcade, they passed the Maid Cafe once again.

"Hey Ren," Morgana asked, "how come you never go inside that place? I've heard they've got cute girls in there who call you Master!"

"Because I'd rather rank up my charm by helping a washed-up politician regain his confidence and the reporter who let us take down Kaneshiro avenge her coworker and friend than partake in a shallow theater aimed at otakus where stressed-out office workers serve you overpriced food that's of lower quality than what they sell at Big Bang Burger," Ren answered.

"Hm... you do have a point," Morgana said.

"That, and Kawakami is a much better maid."

"...keep your philandery in moderation," Morgana cautioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I only ever went to that place to get the achievement.


	3. The Social Distancing Thieves

Deep down in Mementos, a black van pulled up to the platform, letting out Ann and Ryuji before going back up into the darkness. A few minutes later, it came back with Haru and Futaba, then Yusuke and Makoto on a third trip, before Joker exited and Morgana turned back into a cat. Everyone was wearing a face mask in addition to their normal masks and standing two meters apart from one another. Even the shadows were spaced apart from each other.

An exhausted Morgana then collapsed to the ground.

"We need a better way of doing this," he groaned.


	4. Gun Craft

"Now this is a nice weapon," Iwai complimented, inspecting the Tyrant's Pistol. "Guess you bein' a gun enthusiast wasn't complete bullshit after all."

"Making it was pretty simple," Ren said.

"Simple? This is no beginner's job."

"No, really, it was. Remember that Model Gun you sold me last week? I took it into this prison cell where two loli wardens oversee my rehabilitation, then I summoned Lucifer before they tied him to an electric chair and fried him, which fused him with this gun."

Iwai was silent, then got up and slowly backed further into his office away from Ren.


	5. Waffle House

It was Christmas Eve. The world all around had gone to Hell, as Mementos fused with reality and giant bones arced across the sky.

In the middle of it all, a Waffle House carried on. And seated at the bar was one not-dead Goro Akechi.

"What can I getcha, hon?" The waitress asked.

"A huge stack of pancakes," Akechi sighed.

The waitress looked up over her notepad, and glared. "Excuse me?"

Akechi slammed the table and shouted, "I said GET ME A STACK OF PANCAKES!!!!"

"Hon, this is a _Waffle-"_

"I DON'T CARE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" he shouted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not get between Pancake Boi and his sugar-drenched discs of high-carb buttery goodness.


	6. Spooky

The Thieves were all venturing through the Shibuya Asylum haunted house, Makoto leaning on Ren the entire time while Haru made pleasant conversation with the chainsaw-wielding madmen.

"I-I'm not s-s-s-scared of this!" Morgana stuttered, his tail puffed.

Meanwhile, a masked man with a (prop) scythe wandered the halls.

_"Now, then... who should by next victim be-"_

"SHOW ME YOUR TRUE FORM!" The poor sap didn't have time to react to Ren jumping on him and ripping his mask off, knocking him to the floor.

Ren's friends stood awkwardly behind him while he brandished the mask and did his glove pull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2020 > Anything horror movies can come up with. You can't prove me wrong.


	7. Depressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains dark humor about depression. Reader discretion is advised.

"Capture him!"

Joker found himself cornered by the mob of police officers in front of Sae's Palace. He knew what he was supposed to do in this moment - and yet, he panicked.

"Abysmal Surge!" he called out, summoning Arahabaki and sending out a dark wave through all of the police, who stopped, then one by one began to fall down while groaning.

"I'm so depressed..."

"I can't face another day..."

Joker, bewildered, looked out at the mass of unconscious bodies in front of him. "Well... that's one way to do it," Futaba commented.

"I know... dreadful, isn't it?" Joker lamented.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hitchhiker's Guide was one of my favorite movies as a kid.


	8. Law v. Chaos

"The abyss of the unconscious yearns for ultimate ruin. You have no escape, human. Punishment will strike you, as you pass through the gates of ruin..."

Yaldabaoth then blasted his opponent with Rays of Control, only to find it did no apparent damage.

"...impossible!"

His opponent chuckled, making a fist while his arm turned metallic.

"Nanomachines, son," he boasted. "They harden in response to trauma." Armstrong punched the ground. "You can't hurt me, Yaldy. And once I'm done with you, I'll make a society where everyone fights their own wars!"

"No tolerance, no mercy," Yaldabaoth replied.

"Come on!" Armstrong dared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...son.


End file.
